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I hate that ... i am still capable of hating ...
I hate that ... i am still capable of hating ...
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yemob yemob
4 posts
Oct 22, 2024
3:26 AM
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Yes ... i have moments when i still hate.
It is ridiculous .... but true ...
I've read a lots of books ... and i even have moments when i understand that ... negativity itself ... is actually a blessing.
But ...
Well ... i clearly know that the moment when i am under the dominance of my negative emotions ... i am following a pathless path.
... an ugly pathless path.
Today ... i hate seeing myself ... still hating.
And ... indeed i hate lots of people.
I hate ... X.
Y, Z ....
Yes ...I hate many, many people.
But .... I don't understand ... what is really going on with me.
Unfortunately ... i can't stop myself.
It just ... happens.
And .... hate itself is actually activated mainly ... by attacks on my Ego.
I know it.
I ... actually ... know it by a long, long time ... but ...
So ... most probably ... same as many others .... I am under
the total dominance of my Ego.
psychological games in relationships
And ... nothing will change.
... cause it's too complicated to disconnect from the Ego.
Or .... maybe i can't accept that i just can't stay connected to my real soul ... the one from inside of me.
And ... ignore the Ego.
I continue ... reading.
I continue ... analysing.
I continue ... writing my thoughts.
Unfortunately ... on the stage of life i continue acting ... stupid.
The fact .... that i still experience hate ... is the clear evidence of that ... but ....
Well ... meanwhile ... i just pretend ... saying that .... i hate that ... i hate ...
Of course ... it's all ... a pathetic show of declarations ...
... cause i need to write.
Being a writer .... but ....
My mind is so, so stupid.
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